youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
