You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
