I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize