i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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