Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
