Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
