I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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