I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
