Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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