obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize