I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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