Your dad touched me again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
