Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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