I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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