Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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