Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
