She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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