so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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