We got so high we made milksteak
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
