How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
