i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
