it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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