That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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