clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
