Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
