I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
