I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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