Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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