...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
