Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
