I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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