I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
