he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
