i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize