You're my little dorito
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
