hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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