I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
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You. Win. At. Life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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