She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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