Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
