Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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