I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
