He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
