does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
