Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
