Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
