I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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