she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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