I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
