I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize