This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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