too bad you live with your parents still
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
