I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
