No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
