you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
