i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
