We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
