She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
