She went from zero to smokin in five shots
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
