just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
