Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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