I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
