We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
