I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
