Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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