You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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