Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
