He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
