I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
