talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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